Exercises I am going to have to break up with, part 1.

The lat pull-down.  There's nothing wrong with it per se, and I sort of hate to get rid of it, but it really aggravates my bad shoulder.  For purposes of building up my back, there are other exercises that do just as well that don't cause me as much pain (e.g., rows).

The barbell glute bridge.  Okay, first, I am not tall enough to put my shoulders up on a bench the way you're supposed to.  I'd have to sit on a booster seat.  Second, ow.  I can't imagine that even using the pussy pad would stop the bar from bruising my hipbones worse than anything I have ever done in the gym so far.  I need to strengthen my glutes to help ameliorate my epic hyperlordosis, but I'm thinking heavy kettlebell swings will be more useful and less damaging.

The OHP.  No, I just wish I could break up with the OHP.  It hurts my shoulder when I'm not careful with it, and also I suck at it and I hate doing things I suck at.  But it seems to be a pretty critical exercise, so I will channel the spirit of Pudgy Stockton, make sure to shrug at the top to minimize impingement, and keep putting heavy shit over my head.

My bench press is up to 75 for singles.  Heavy singles on the deadlift are at 185, and 115 on squats.  That puts me 25 pounds away from my goal for the bench press, 15 pounds for the deadlift, and 20 pounds for squats.  It's so annoying to be so close and still have to work your way up a few pounds at a time, but I tried 205 on the deadlift (stapled to the ground) and 135 on the squat (went down fine, but coming back up was not happening) and it's clear that the slow working-up is going to be how I get there.

Well, I've got time.  Probably.  And if I don't, I imagine the state of my deadlift will be the least of my concerns.

General health: okay but not great.  I've been completely exhausted lately - like, brain-fogging, swimming-through-sludge exhausted.  I think part of it is because my RA has been more active than I'd like.  To tell the truth, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to wean off methotrexate like I'd hoped.  I'm down to two pills and I'm really starting to feel it.  The last few days have been better, but I had a couple of days last week where I was hugely stiff and sore getting out of bed.  Oddly, but fortunately, my lifts don't seem to be suffering for it; but it's a little depressing anyway.

Things Kettlebells Have Taught Me, #1

When you're doing rep ladders, it is easy as balls to completely lose sight of how many reps you've done in total, and then you spend the next two or three days praying the Lord your soul to take so you don't have to try to get out of bed in the morning.

This was something I hadn't realized before because I haven't done ladders in anything else.  But man, if you want to trick yourself into ramping up volume to ridiculous extents, ladders are the way to go.  I mean, it's only five reps, right?  And then four, and that's totally not very many, right?

Right?

No, it's not.  But 90 reps sure as fuck is, and that is where you will find yourself before your body has even figured out that you're exercising.  Ouch.

Life lesson: fixing your shit hurts.

Not in the "I am about to snap something up and shouldn't continue this" way, but in the "Holy shit, I have clearly never used that muscle before in my life and now it hurts like Neo's eyes when he first left The Matrix" way.  My upper back is sorer than hell, I've offended something in my right lower back, and I may have to give in and slink back to my gym's spa for a sports massage to make it stop being pissed at me.

Last night was heavy deadlift day.  I was supposed to do 190 for a heavy single and couldn't get it off the floor.  I'm not too broken up over that, because I'd already moved almost 4,000 pounds of back-intensive kettlebell weight before I even hit the gym (because I have New!  Kettlebells!), and I was being super careful because of my right lower back, so I wasn't really in the head space required to pull a new PR.  I'll get it when deload week is over, that 190 pounds isn't going anywhere.  165 wasn't all that happy about coming up either, but I really worked the tips I got from Katie at Iron Sport on the last couple of reps and the difference was noticeable.

Today may be active recovery day with a walk on the park trails.  Or maybe I'll decide it's too cold and just go back to sleep.  Both of those options look pretty good right now.

May is Fix Your Shit Month

For purposes of fixing my shit, May actually started yesterday and will continue for the next six weeks.

Tonight I tried out the new squat form that Katie Feeley from Iron Sport Gym taught me, BLACK APOSTASY THOUGH IT SEEMED. It was sort of a trial by fire - heavy squat week, with a new PR on singles, when my quads were already killing me. Regardless, I think it's going to work out well. I hate to say it, but given my particular weaknesses, the Starting Strength squat was causing me to be in perpetual danger of falling on my face. This one feels better; I'll work with it for a couple of months and see how my progress goes.

 Another thing Katie did at the seminar was confirm all my self-diagnosed weaknesses. Not only that, she told me how to fix them. So for May I'm going to set aside my usual accessory programming and hit my weaknesses hard. My main programs will still be S&S and 5/3/1 as usual, but here are the three things I want to fix and how I'm going to work them:

1. Back strength. Rows and lat pull-downs.

2. Retaining tension. Paused squats and just really working tension in everything I do.

3.  Mobility. Ten-minute squat test and Agile 8. I also need to do yoga more often, but that's not so much a weakness correction as a lifestyle choice.

 Next week is deload week. Man, I'm looking forward to that.

Form fixes

Today I went to Iron Sport's squat and deadlifting seminar. It was both awesome and demoralizing. Demoralizing because I was by far and away the weakest person there and even in the women's group I kept having to take weight off the bar; awesome because I got a lot of feedback on my form and ideas for fixes for the areas where it's weak. So on the takehome front, I have two new accessories that I need to fit in: pause squats and rows. I've been considering pause squats for a while but somehow rows never quite occurred to me, even though I know for a fact that my middle and upper back are really weak. Next week is heavy week, so we'll see how the new squat form works out; a few weeks from now, we'll see if the rows are making my form any better on the deadlift. Maybe they'll carry over into my TGUs and swings too. Or my cleans, dear god, that would be amazing.

Wherein the UPS delivery guy plots my fiery downfall

For the last few days, the kettlebell-swinging internet has been abuzz with RKC-certified instructors handing out codes for 40% off Dragon Door kettlebells, for the benefit of those of us not among the anointed.  (And for their own benefit, since I assume they get referral money.)  As planned, I bought two 12kg and a 24kg.  I already had a 25-pounder, but since it's not the same weight, I'm going to see if my daughter wants that one.  If not, I can always still use it for singles work, or trade it in to Play It Again for something else cool.

Now I'm broke, but I got top-of-the-line kettlebells for less than the cost of most no-name ones, so I'm pretty happy.

Last night was deadlift night.  I did the I'm Not Doing Jack Shit protocol because everything I've done this week has made me DOMS-ish and I want to be on point for the squat and deadlift seminar at Iron Sport on Sunday.  I set a new PR - 185 pounds, which is so, so close to my goal weight of 200.  It was just for a single and I want to be able to do 200 for reps, but still.  Super close.  My top set felt easier, too.

But the seminar is just in time, because I caught sight of myself in the mirror angle when I was pulling my work set, and holy shit is my form bad.  I cannot for anything keep my back from rounding, even on fairly light weights.  Even concentrating on pulling my shoulders and lats back doesn't work once the weight starts coming off the ground.  I don't know if it's a weak upper back, shoulder mobility issues, or just my posture at the start of the lift, but hopefully someone at the seminar can tell me.  I just hope my form's not so bad that I have to deload all the way back to the empty bar and work back up.

In honor of the seminar I'm going to, here's the (classic, hilarious) commercial for the gym hosting it:

Ow, my shoulders.

Today I did a set of five walkouts with 135 pounds.  God damn, that is heavy.  But in a weird way; not in the sense that my leg muscles were shaking under the strain, but in the sense that I put 135 pounds on my shoulders and that weight feels like it's grinding my bones to make its bread.  I've got fat to spare, but the weight squashed right through it.  It was strange and uncomfortable, and I sort of have a little more sympathy now for people who use the pussy pad, though not much.

Other than that, my main lift for tonight was squats with a top set of 85 and a heavy single of 105 (new PR!).  I had to pause and regroup between reps 4 and 5, but last time I squatted this weight I had to stop between 3 and 4, so I'm getting there, slowly but surely.

Last week I tried doing TGUs with my 35-pounder, Mathilde.  I almost dropped it on my head and killed myself.  I definitely need more time under the 25; a TGU is not something you want to fail.  I also gave my arm an epic bruise doing cleans with it, but at least I can do a one-handed swing with it with something resembling good form.  Just... not for many sets.

My kettlebell coach sent out a mass email to his students with the subject "YOU CAN'T MISS THIS!"  I read the email, and lo, he was actually totally correct.  So a big chunk of my paycheck this Friday is going toward Dragon Door kettlebells.  Right now the plan is to buy two 12kgs and an aspirational 24kg.  I can use it for deadlifts or something.  (Or, god save my quads, goblet squats.)

I think I'd like to compete in kettlebell meets.  I just think it would be really cool.  I was never athletic and I was always so, so jealous of my cousins when they competed in gymnastics meets and brought home trophies.  I probably won't ever compete in powerlifting events because having a 400-pound deadlift would require me to have the sort of body that can move 400 pounds off the floor, and while I'm all for strength, I prefer a more streamlined look.  (I say that as though it's all about aesthetics.  The truth is that I doubt I'm physically capable of reaching that level of strength.  I'm just going to tell myself it's all about not getting all bulky and mannish because that will salve my ego a little.)

That means I need to work on my long cycle, because just the thought of doing it for ten minutes makes my shoulders hurt.  That can go on my list of goals too.